At times advice is not warranted but how do you help a friend who’s really in need but doesn’t ask or admit it?
Most articles are written to give advice or opinions on matters the experts have great knowledge and experience on. But I must say, seeing that the universe holds vast perspectives let me tap into the cosmos thru prayer and fellowship and pose a question to the readers. Please comment I need help!!!
What do we do when were confronted with a friends problem or burden and we know the answer? We don’t want to overstep our boundaries but it’s so hard to see someone making bad choices or not taking responsibility for their life in a healthy way, especially someone close.
Maybe you have a overweight friend who has a horrible diet and lots of health problems; or the friend who won’t keep a job and continues to squander life’s opportunities, or possibly the friend who doesn’t realize there sexual self-worth and is very promiscuous. The examples could go on for days. I’ll probably go into detail on some of these topics at some point. But like Kanye told Sway, maybe “you don’t have the answers” on how to approach a friend or loved one going thru this.
How can we assist a friend with a negative or dismissive demeanor?
I have a friend who continues to be negative about everything life has to offer. They’re like a dark cloud and they always complain about every part of their life. They blame everyone else and they refuse to take responsibility for anything. Even when good things happen, they find some way to be pessimistic about their position in life.
I just want to grab them and scream but most times my eyes are rolling around my head when they call. I want them to be grateful and learn the key to happiness comes through serving others. I have another friend who simply stated, “I’m done giving advice forever! Every time I do people feel like I’m judging them and I feel worst than if I had just kept my thoughts to myself. Is this the right attitude? I don’t want to give up, perhaps the delivery just needs to be adjusted.” Have you ever felt this way? She continues, “a part of me says let them go through their own journey. The ‘healing sage, says “help them, ‘teach them’, ‘carry the burden’, ‘walk the mile’ with them.” I could totally identify with her sentiments. I’m sure you’ve felt the same way before, stuck in between being altruistic and practical.
A solution is brewing…
Many people have often come to me for advice over the years. I think everyone likes to hear what should be done but then comes the doing. Remember that the doing part is all up to them. Many times being a good friend means be a good listener. Work on asking questions that can draw your friend to make their own conclusions. Never downplay the importance that your love and friendship has to encourage change. What you should do is first let your friend know that you care and that you empathize. Make sure before giving advice they know how much you want to see them happy and are willing to support.
Furthermore, I rarely tell anyone what to do I just provide clarity on reality. I give them the truth on what this path holds or what options they really have available based on my experience. Only when asked and always accompanied by “this is only my experience.”
Carrying the burden of wisdom can be difficult. We should be especially understanding because we’ve all been the friend who wouldn’t listen. Actually, at times we still are. It’s all a part of the journey. Don’t give up on your friend, respect their choice and honor their right to choose for themselves. Be an example they can follow. Engage them with positivity and activities that will encourage them.
Have you ever had a friend going down a bad path? Have you ever been that friend? How’d it go for you? What did you do? This journey is collective were all a part of each other consciousness and growth. Thanks for your thoughts, prayers, and energy.